Taking a trip down memory lane

08/18/2007

Joel Akin

 We speak in prophetic utterance and with a sigh. The sigh is one of prayer. I have fought in prayer and was willing to go deeper but I find it hard to keep up. Each day I wear myself out. Each day I fight. Each day I ask God for help. Each day nothing happens. It is not the first year or second year it is going into years without end.

 Yet I know if I asked my father I would see it in his life. I see it in a flower which I call the trumpet flower and I see it in people who are dreaming about the return of Christ. I have learned that dreams are from God. I have learned God is in control. I have learned I am on the right step. Yet what do you do when the step you are on is filled with scorpions? Your father didn’t send them. He didn’t ask them to come. It was His will you wait right where you are but somehow the day didn’t end the way you wanted. The promise never arrived. Not the one God said was meant to arrive. He said “Wait here until I find a place for you where the sun shines upon you in the morning.” The problem is the last I knew God and I were in battle. Well, that was battle with sin. But he is a failure as far as life goes.

 I know this is a memory lane story so let me tell you one thing you will have. It is life and love. It is hope. It is joy. It is peace which passes all understanding. It won’t be a bad peace. After all when we say it passes understanding that means we question it. But imagine a peace so profound that it is of God? it isn’t somulent and it isn’t wrong. It just feels perfect.

 It is hard to understand but imagine that you had knowledge. Now imagine knowledge was what Adam and Eve wanted. They thought knowledge was something that would help. But what they got was garbage.

To put it into perspective lets say God created life from the beginning. Lets say he put men into the garden. Not just Adam as we suppose but people were there. It was a place of safety. God didn’t mention them but he put them there to safely keep them out of trouble. Among them was a young whipper snapper named Caleb only he wasn’t the Caleb of Moses but the Caleb dog. That is the true meaning of the name. It was dog. He had a race called Sin spirits and they were from a young named spirit named Sin. And so Sin rose up and stole the name of those who were in the garden and they created a well of sin. It was a place where you could grow your own sin. And it was like marijuana only it grew in your mind. And you ate it and ate it and ate it until you were filled. The problem was it was necessary to begin to transform yourself into a spirit that was like dead man.

And so the dead man went out and stole the name of knowledge. And so the day of God was to try and find Sin and sin in the garden. He was infected spiritually which was his man side but he overcame by choice. It wasn’t easy but he put that choice into us. We were given it as a gift by God because God saw no one but him could afford to pay it. And that him was man and it was God before the day of Christ. Christ was in God at that appearance just as we all were. We had to be in order for us to appear there with our heart apparent.

Heart apparent means to let us be. And we were. We all were. We were men and women in the garden and in life. We were men without love but we existed. We were part of sin and part of time. Only we couldn’t know it because we didn’t think.

Now some say that isn’t right. We never existed but I’ll say we did. God showed us in scripture that we were all predestined. And predestined meant to have lived. Those who were dead had gone ahead of us and became Devil. That meant those who had liveD. Devil backward is those who once were or are. And we were and are and will be. We couldn’t examine life then but we were part of spirit. And so Adam wanted that so he could say he had examined life. He didn’t know that examining life would surround us and himself with evil. And evil meant to have live food or live. Lets put it into perspective. Live food was to eat things that were vile. And so people used to pull out the manure pile and search for grubs. That was called unclean food. It is okay to eat a grub but it was called vile. Vile is like the Klingons eating gak. It was live worms and we were called by God to avoid this as it made us sick. But the problem was that we didn’t know this. We knew it was God giving us examples in scripture but we didn’t think past the verse. So we lost sight of what God was showing us. We said “We can’t go outside scripture” but the fact is we had to in order to understand. How else could we have life?

The problem was that we failed and God had to remove the name of our name from his book. His book was life and we were not alive anymore we were all dead men. And so God said “I will find a way of waking them up” and he sent a man from this age to their age. He wrote out the will and the song and put it into me. I went to Eden and wrote out a song of Joy. It was young Joy then but she was one of the few who had written a song of Hope. Hope was a young woman who had also survived. She was life and free and given to hope in her heart. Her heart was an example of something God calls Twin and Dul or Dle. Dle is a better phrase for it is like candle. It is the kindle and the freedom given to those who are of life.

Now it might freak us out to think of these things but that is because life was meant to be free. We were meant to swing with women in the garden without thought or desire for sex. But along the way came a spirit called Sin who wrote out law. Law is like telling a child “That is wrong”. The child looks and looks and looks and then bursts out in tears. He can’t understand. He does it the way he is told but he weeps inside because the joy of throwing stones is broken by law. After all if he threw a stone at a duck to kill it then it was acceptable in life when trying to survive but a fragile law. For the law was of men who said “This is so wrong I will break this child.” And so they did thinking “This child is on the path to evil.”

And so the person I was then and now are two different people. I was growing up. I had taken on hunting. Only I had it wrong because I was dumb to throw stones first in a park and second at ducks which were tame. They were tame and so it was like being in a barnyard and trying to hang a goose by the neck. A quick wring of the neck is the proper way.

So if I tell you Sin wasn’t a man then that would bother you perhaps. But then again Sin never was a good liar nor a great one. He only became a liar when Sin met Satan. And that is where the story is today.

The fact is we are all in grace. God set us up from the beginning. He knew this day would come. He knew I would be here writing this. And he knew that it would be Him and I. That is the two of us. Fighting side by side for the things that matter. Only I don’t give up and that is the way it should be. I don’t give up because I’m on the path to life. I don’t give up even when I hurt. I don’t give up even when God doesn’t give me a night or a whisper. I don’t want there to be a day like that but what if it were today? What if we fought with tears and hurt and the Holy Spirit said of us that we were like a Sequoia. Only he said it as a sapling. Because Sequoia in Spirit talk is little. He saw I was wondering if it was me because in Spirit talk God speaks with God. It is a way of communicating. And it works in synchronizing things. So that even if I heard little I was not being let down. I was being told to write until the story was told.

And so I write on.

It seems that in life there is little. And then there is much. Much is when you have much to deal with and little is when you have little to do.

Now I don’t have little to do and I don’t have to write the way it seems. I can add and force and probe and rebel with a cowboy shout but the Yahoo of it is like sitting on a practice horn. The Tuba might be loud or hard but it ain’t the instrument on my list. But it was created to fit into a band and so the band is a tight knit unit. And so God wanted me to know the Tuba is the one thing that is hard to blow. It is probably the hardest of all the instruments. Simply because breath is required. And I have little.

So who then does this battle face? For if we are of the beginning and if we are of the age that was is there a way to see who we are? To answer that is prophetic in nature because I have a way of writing it so you will see it.

To explain it is to begin with a man crossing the street. He faces traffic both ways. He looks both ways before crossing. He gets to the other side and he is only half way to 7-11. He has to wait for the light to change and then he can cross without worrying overmuch about looking both ways. But we speak of those crossings without help lights such as walk or don’t walk.

So you can see it if you have traffic. And traffic is of cart and horse as well. They can’t stop on a dime like some vehicles so walking in front of them was a sure way to get trampled.

So here is how it works. You were born. You were unique. You were carried up to the father and He broke out a tuba and said “I’ll bear a soul” and he did. He carried the soul back to the fetus. This is when the child is about a month or two months or three months or four months or five months or six months or seven months or eight months. Now I say that because before the first month we can say that the seed of the child is still a seed. After that it becomes life. For God carries the spirit to man again and again with each breath of the mother. And the mother carries the sperm in the egg and the egg is freedom.

Now that means the child who was sin is now loved. And that love of the child is what gives the child freedom to be alive. It is the child who was sin because they had no life. They were born but had no conception and conception is the concentrating of thought into a position of frame. So lets say frame is the body and body is the concentration where God pours out the spirit into each of us. We are spirit and that is body and mind and eventually soul and spirit. The soul is the body but it is broken at death. It then is the spirit.

So if a child is born and grows inside she who is inside is a woman. That is until the first month when the child becomes sexed. That is male or female is created. How? Some say its impossible but here is how it works. The child is created by desire of the mother. If the mother is of God the child is also. So the child would be what is needed. So if Abraham was promised a son he would have one by his wife Sarah. If Hagar had borne a child that was female he would have seen it as a sign that she was off his list. And he would have thrown her into the pit. For that would be sin to him. But she bore a child and of course it was male.

Now that will bother some as does all predestined thought. It is thought which is concentrated in frame of thought of time. Time is a misk and misk is the risk of mind. All minds carry time and sometimes men carry thought to the sea of knowledge. There it is that we find what we ate in the garden. We find the mind of time and it is this knowledge which is meant to be turned over to God. God carries it to the sea and washes it in the blood of Christ. If it is pure it is carried to our heart which writes it. If it is uncertain then we have a right to strain it for gnats and that means to tear apart the gnat but not the screen. That is unless we are giving up writing. I don’t wish that and so I let the screen called love process the gnat down to its component parts of fly and feet.

Now tearing down a gnat isn’t easy for its mostly fly and feet. And it is the feet of the gnat which holds us in grip. That is so we can write this story for you.

Now I am wore out but I need to write one thing before I go. First God didn’t let me down. He knows I tried to fight with prayer. He knows I tried to fight with wind. He knows I waited and was suffer itself. Yet for all things God sees I need time and time is what I have to pray. And pray is what happens each day. It isn’t a good war but it is a war. A war that is one not by the battle but by the day of war. If I am in battle for an hour or two that is good. If I fight with prayer for help that is good. If I cry for Jesus to help and ask for the blood because I hurt that is right. If I cry to God for help and to speak that is good. If the Holy Spirit works in prayer that is also good. But it is part of the write that I do which is also right. For here I can express the pain I felt in prayer. I can tell you the pain was physical assault on my mind. It was hurt in a way I can’t explain. It was like being caught by horses which pulled your mind in two paths. It didn’t tear fully but tonight I felt something and it was pain of torch. And the torch flared briefly and I wondered if Sin were trying to destroy me or fight me in a new way.

But it was just a spiritual flare and the pain went away. I still have regular pain in the head and that is real and not a joke. But the pain of Sin is like a train tearing down a station each day to strive with me. It does this by a decree of time. And that is where God allows it in order to break. He does it to break at men on earth. For each day they gain strength. And each day they fight. So God is dealing with the heart and it is a war. For man is wicked and the heart of men is destructive.

And so the war is fought and each day I have to carry those who cannot make it spiritually. And as time goes on the way of time is gaining on them. And so I carry those I love and I try to add to the burden. But God thinks I carry more then enough. I carry a family in life and I carry time. And time is uncertain for I fight with God against a foe we who are of earth cannot contain. We could not win it or beat it with a prayer to God. God fights it and it is uncertain. It is a spirit which grows and it fights with an evil spirit named Sin. Sin is an evil spirit which is an evil spirit which is an evil spirit. Even if all of us prayed we would still have to have faith. And though some have what we might call time and faith it isn’t the faith needed. It has to be real faith and that doesn’t come except first with hope. And if we have hope we have the mind of God.

Now the real part of this is God has seen the day of victory. That is what is coming. I heard him two nights ago say to me that the future is written in victory. He said there was a roar coming which would be heard by the universe. It would be part of the story that I will write soon. Until then I have to close so I can have time to think. That time to think is where God deals with me over the sea of time. For God is going to heal me and free me and deliver me.

Now as to how I know it is that God is telling me. He is freeing me to see and to think outside of the box. And so if the box is earth then it is almost time. And that means God is going to free the day and not just the man. So carpe dium or something like that. In other words let God free and then sing of it to men.